The Skirt Struggle

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As I peruse what’s supposed to be one of the most sacred places in a female’s life (the closet), I am reminded of an internal conflict I’ve developed since living in the city. I have tons of adorable dresses and skirts, all hanging according to color and shade – and yet, I haven’t worn any of them this summer. Actually, I’ve worn a couple of my maxi dresses, but none of the flowy, bright, shorter, happy-looking stuff. Why? Because I’ve learned that skirts + Subways + weird wind patterns = disaster. I’m not sure if it’s because NYC has a grid layout and wind travels faster down the avenues, or maybe it’s just because you have to walk everywhere… but I cannot manage to wear any type of draped fabric without it flying up. For that reason, I have been sporting leggings and opaque tights for the past several fashion seasons, not by choice, but by fear of putting on an accidental peep show.

The thought of a dress or skirt being blown up by the wind or a passing Subway train triggers thoughts of Marilyn Monroe, with her gorgeous white halter dress elegantly drifting in waves around her shapely legs, as she giggles and pushes it back down. Yeah no, that’s all a bunch of bull. I’ll never forget my first peek-a-boo moment, which took place right on East 86h between 1st and 2nd. It was a hot summer day, I was carrying my laptop to Best Buy to have it repaired, and I was sweating bullets in a strappy pink floral sundress. Suddenly, a gust of wind decided to blow my skirt up into my face and I was left frantically trying to bat it away, looking as if I was being attacked by a flock of pigeons. I wasn’t smiling and there was nothing cute about it. All I heard was a round of applause from the old guys who sell fruit on the sidewalk.

Eventually, I need to get over my fear of wind gusts (my dress collection is too cute not to be worn), but I’ve learned my lesson: wear at LEAST boy shorts when wearing a flowy skirt. Leggings and tights are still your best bet. Tight dresses and skirts are safe. And beware of Subway or air conditioning vents.

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